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Kimberly Haskins, LCSW

How to deal with big changes in your life

Dealing with change can sometimes be uncomfortable, stressful or even scary. Here are some things you can do to make coping with changes in your life a little easier:


Don’t fight it..

I once heard one of my favorite yoga instructors say “Suffering is what occurs when we resist what is already happening.” The lesson has stuck with me ever since.


Life changes are usually out of our control. Rather than trying to manipulate the situation and wishing things were different, try flowing with it instead.


Of course, some initial resistance is natural if we’re going into survival mode. Just make sure you are conscious of when this resistance is no longer serving you.


Find healthy ways to deal with your feelings…

Whenever we’re in transitional periods it can be easy to lose track of ourselves. Sometimes we feel like we’re being tossed about by life and like we’ve lost our footing, causing some very uncomfortable feelings to rise.


One way we can channel these feelings is by finding healthy ways to release them. For instance, whenever I find myself in a difficult transitional phase I end up in a mixed martial arts studio.


The physical activity helps me channel my emotions and release endorphins. It also helps me get in shape which generally increases my mood and energy levels.


Reframe your perspective…

Reframing perspectives is a very powerful tool used in life coaching. It helps clients take a situation they are struggling with, such as a major life change, and find some sort of empowerment in it.


Some examples of disempowered thinking during life changes include casting blame, focusing on negative details or victimizing. These perspectives can make awkward transitional phases much worse than they have to be.


Meanwhile if we come from a more positive perspective such as finding a lesson in the situation, realizing that there may be an opportunity for something or that everything passes we can come from a greater place of ease.


Find time for self-reflection…

Having time to reflect is important at any stage in your life, but it’s especially important during transitional periods. It’s quite simple really, we need our time to step back and get centered when things get a little crazy.


As a result, big life changes are perfect for doing some self-reflection. They are opportunities to check in with ourselves and practice getting grounded for a few minutes.

Self-reflective exercises include meditating, yoga or journaling – all of which require some quiet time to get yourself together.


Big life changes may rock us for a little while, but they don’t have to be as bad as we initially perceive them. If handled in a positive manner transitional periods can pave the way for some serious self-growth, reflection and awareness.


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